The Raging Racist

Once upon a time, some students, which shall not be named here (But may or may not include our amazing editors) were able to escape the oppression of our fascist rulers just long enough to have some actual social interaction. During this time our sources have found out many interesting stories, including the crazed Italians, the ender dragon mistress, the KMK, and, of course, the Raging Racist. As our sources have discovered, there are multiple underlying threats to our wholesome, not at all Marxist, society that we call school.

Starting at the top, our sources have uncovered an Italian threat, who was last seen playing Minecraft bridge and raving about the state of our more perfect union. This could be one of the largest conspiracies that has ever conspired, but, at this moment, we are unsure. More to follow.

The Ender Dragon, a mythical beast from a land far greater than ours, has been caught catfishing a man, who may or may not be the Italian man, and forcing him to cheat on his wife. This story is undeveloped at the moment, more information will soon come to light about this scandal.

Our society is not without its problems, as we have uncovered details about a potential cult within our school, which is only known as, The KMK. This cult's main focus is forcing unsuspecting, usually white, teenagers to answer questions, that, unbeknownst to them, are being used to gather information on our society, and, as we suspect, to implant people with small chips that could control their actions. At the moment, it would appear that they are plotting a potential kidnapping, of our very own editor in chief, **** *****. For obvious reasons we cannot reveal his name here, for fear of the KMK gathering more information. We hope to further this story at a later date.

Lastly, the topic we have the most information about, the Raging Racist. Our sources have lead us to believe that one student, has recently become blatantly and undeniably racist. So racist that she has been given the nickname of "The Raging Racist". As one man puts it "I never thought she would do this, she was so nice, but now... i don't know". Her heinous acts include, but are not limited to, Racism towards black people, racism towards white people, racism towards asians, racism towards italians, racism towards greeks, racism (deservedly) towards romans, racism towards the Aussies, racism towards the seafaring folk, racism towards brits, racism towards south Americans, racism towards people who eat food, racism towards people who dont eat food, and racism towards people who dont even breathe. The only people who have escaped her racist rage are people whos skins are orange. We have unconfirmed information that states of a possible crush on the man himself The Donald, yet this is unconfirmed. More information to follow.

All in all, this short burst of freedom these students experienced has revealed multiple new stories, more than we can mention here, which means, MORE INFORMATION TO FOLLOW!