Getting Popular at MHHS

Who are the Populars at Mountain Home?
Much like the degenerate caste system that has developed in the country of India, the students of MHHS have developed a sense of superiority over one another. At the top of this system are the Varsity Football players, for whom no helmet could mitigate their irrepairable brain damage.

How do I get Popular?

If you're interested in becoming popular at MHHS there are a number of questions you need to ask yourself:
 * Do I have a crippling addiction to nicotine that affects my ability to function as a human being?
 * Am I willing to eradicate the self confidence of others in the name of humor?
 * Are extra curricular activities another way to express and exercise my constant need for control in my life over others?
 * Do I lack the ability to apply myself to my education, skipping class to cope with my inability to amount to anything?
 * Do I attempt to oppress minority groups through excessive use of the N word?
 * Is domestic abuse a pleasant alternative to other methods of emotional release for my problems in life?